A Dichotomy

That's what I've become...a complete and total dichotomy... I've always relied on my intelligence and common sense to get me through life, I've had lapses, but when it mattered most, it has never let me down. Now...oh boy now...lol...

I can't wait until the next time we talk...though I know at anytime it could be the last

I want to know what you are thinking...though it scares me to be thinking about you all the time

I want to tell you everything...though I'm afraid to share my deepest, darkest stuff for fear you will think I'm broken.

I want to be the only one for you...though I'm afraid that with that power you can crush me

I know that this probably will end in heartache for me...but not talking to you leaves me empty and as if there is something missing in my life...

You fill a hole that I didn't know was empty...now when you are gone, that hole is bigger and deeper than ever...

I can't believe I found a woman as amazing as you are...I wonder why you are with someone like me

I am self-assured...I wonder what it is you see in me and why me?

I've been down this road before...but this time it is like no other time ever...

I know that you are right...but I hope to prove you wrong...

Hell...there are so many contradictory things in my head that I feel like I'm going crazy...though I have never felt calmer and more at peace as I do when I'm talking to you...

I know that you are the type that not only can I, but will end up opening my heart to...though in one fell swoop you could crush it.

I know that any given day will be the day that a word could apply...and I'm afraid of what that word would do to us.

I believe in that word...I've never been more afraid of that word ever...

I have never been so attracted, in all sense of the word, to anyone...I've never been more afraid of liking a person as much as I like you....

I should have used this time away to figure things out...all I figured out is that I miss you terribly when we can't be us...

Now... Withall the fears listed above...there is nothing I want more than to have you in my arms, to look at me, giving me that knowing smile...

the only time I feel peace is when I hear your voice, hear that smile, hear one of your laughs...

even though I fight to keep control...I want to lose all self-control with you...

I want to experience everything with you before time runs out...I need to be patient so I don't lose you...

Patience is a virtue....damn...why am I struggling to have it now???

Gomez -I've missed you terribly...I didn't know I could miss someone this much!